3 Signs He Respects He’s on a Date
with a Single Mom
Afraid you won’t be able to find someone who will love you and accept your children? Make sure the man you’re dating respects that you’re a mom.
We find that one of the greatest fears single mothers have when they return to the world wide web of dating is that they won’t be able to find someone who will love them and accept their children.
This fear is not completely ungrounded. Most of us have been sold a bill of goods that it’s too much to expect that someone will want to date a person with children.
For starters, that’s simply not true. Being a single mom might mean that you have to rule certain men out but it also means you’re more inclined to find a great one.
Hollywood loves stories with single parents. Jerry McGuire. Maid in Manhattan. Freaky Friday are but a few. Not to mention almost every Disney movie ever made. When the book Charlie in the Chocolate Factory was adapted into a movie, the father never made it onto the screen. Did you ever wonder why that it is? Well, for one it’s one less actor to hire.
But the part that’s more important for you is that when a character wants to woo a romantic interest with a child (or children) there are tell tale signs that he’s up to the task. While your life is not a film you can be on the look out for those same signs. Here are the top three ways you know the man you’re dating respects that you’re a mom.
1. Realizes Your Free Time Isn’t Free
When you have kids, dating requires a lot more planning than just what you’re going to wear. You have to figure out who’s watching the children. Then there’s the financial concern of paying for someone to watch the kids. It can cost a chunk of change just to leave your house to go on a date. And what if it’s not even good? One way to insure a higher chance for a return on your investment is having a date with someone who understands this.
A man that respects you’re a mom will get that the care of your children is an important consideration for you each time you go out. This can be revealed in any number of simple ways. He might ask you something like, “Can you get a sitter for Saturday night?” “When do your children go to their dad’s?” “Can I pitch in for childcare?” Any of these kinds of questions will indicate that he knows that you have responsibilities to attend to before you can focus on fun.
2. Doesn’t View Your Cell Phone as a Rival
Culturally, everyone has become pretty obnoxious with their cell phones, blackberries and iPhones. We all fall under the misconception that we should be accessible at all times. We get panicked about being disconnected. Ideally, when you’re meeting someone new you’d give them your full attention unless of course you can’t stand them. However, when you’re a mother you really do need to be accessible. This might mean keeping your phone on vibrate at a concert or dinner or occasionally checking to see if your kids have called. A guy that understands this doesn’t take it personally and is a date worth getting a sitter for.
3. Is Not Offended by Your Reluctance to Involve Him with Your Kids
There is no reason to involve your children in your dating life until it seems like someone is sticking around. There’s an inevitable excitement when you go on a date. Could this person hold the key to your future? If it doesn’t work out there’s a normal amount of disappointment.
The roller coaster of dating might be something you can comprehend but it’s not quite that easy for children. They might have fear or hope when you date. There isn’t any reason to cause them undue anxiety. A new man will respect these boundaries. He won’t be upset if you don’t want him to pick you up at your home. He is fine when you tell him not to call you on your home phone number. He won’t be overly familiar if you bump into each other when you’re with your kids. He’ll follow your lead and go as slow as you need to.
The bottom line is when you’re not apologetic for the fact that you have children you date from a place of strength. Having clear boundaries and being confident enough to express them will make it easier for you to find a respectful man who takes movie-worthy actions to woo you while accepting your kids.